Suffered throughout my Final Year back in Uni, battling with time to complete my thesis, finally I can proudly call myself a graduate.! Yeay Me! Convocation? Not as formal as i thought it would be. But it was still magical to me And yes, I did enjoy my 15 seconds of fame on the stage, receiving the scroll that Ive been working my ass butt off. I cant believe that I could survive the  3 gruesome years of campus life. And I cant believe that I`m missing all that now.

Currently,after being unemployed for more than 3 months after the convocation, now I`m doing this 6 months Safety and Health course. And yes, I`m making new crazy friends!!! They are (literally) the craziest bunch I ever met! But I heart them to the max!

2010. Tik tok! Hopefully this year will be MY year..! I’ll be 24 soon and I promise I’ll be a good girl..So please God..Grant me my wishes!

Now that I’m back..So World…Here me SCREAM!!!

The story goes like this …….

One day a young man was standing in the middle of the town proclaiming that he had the most beautiful heart in the whole valley. A large crowd gathered and they all admired his heart for it was perfect. There was not a mark or a flaw in it.

Yes, they all agreed it truly was the most beautiful heart they had ever seen. The young man was very proud and boasted more loudly about his beautiful heart. Suddenly, an old man appeared at the front of the crowd and said,

“Why your heart is not nearly as beautiful as mine.” The crowd and the young man looked at the old man’s heart. It was beating strongly, but full of scars, it had places where pieces had been removed and other pieces put in, but they didn’t fit quite right and there were several jagged edges. In fact, in some places there were deep gouges where whole pieces were missing.

The people stared — how can he say his heart is more beautiful, they thought? The young man looked at the old man’s heart and saw its state and laughed. “You must be joking,” he said. “Compare your heart with mine, mine is perfect and yours is a mess of scars and tears.”

“Yes,” said the old man, “yours is perfect looking but I would never trade with you. You see, every scar represents a person to whom I have given my love – I tear out a piece of my heart and give it to them, and often they give me a piece of their heart which fits into the empty place in my heart, but because the pieces aren’t exact, I have some rough edges, which I cherish, because they remind me of the love we shared. Sometimes I have given pieces of my heart away, and the other person hasn’t returned a piece of his heart to me. These are the empty gouges — giving love is taking a chance. Although these gouges are painful, they stay open, reminding me of the love I have for these people too, and I hope someday they may return and fill the space I have waiting. So now do you see what true beauty is?”

The young man stood silently with tears running down his cheeks. He walked up to the old man, reached into his perfect young and beautiful heart, and ripped a piece out. He offered it to the old man with trembling hands. The old man took his offering, placed it in his heart and then took a piece from his old scarred heart and placed it in the wound in the young man’s heart. It fit, but not perfectly, as there were some jagged edges. The young man looked at his heart, not perfect anymore but more beautiful than ever, since love from the old man’s heart flowed into his. They embraced and walked away side by side….

Nice story isn`t it?

I`m broke and and my PTPTN is still pending. Very PTPT-pu one! and my walllet now is so PTPT-M-T….huwaa…! Very PTPT-me ….. I don`t give a damn about what govt`s about to say about the admin fee which is being deducted 3% from the total amount for EVERY SEM?? Hey! Come on la! Why on earth do they still have to do that? RM3500 per sem, minus RM1500 …we`ve only approx RM2000 to survive for the whole 5 months. A lot eh you think? Look at the list below :

RM 300 -books, notes photocopy and printouts, assignment printouts

RM 1500 – for twice a day meal ( approx RM5 per meal – nasi campor and drink)

RM 200 – balance ( other necessities)

*Sigh* and yet they still want to deduct the 3% admin fee… come on la…have mercy on us! Think of those who are dependent solely on PTPTN ….*Sigh*

Something happened recently that really make me ponder about everything. In less than 3 months, Ive lost 3 of my close family members. My dear grandad ( eventhough he was not real grandad) , my uncle and 2 weeks ago, my aunt left us due to cancer. And the worst thing is we just discovered that she got cancer few days before the passed away. Poor grandma..losing a husband, son-in law and a daughter in less than 3 months. But I know, she`s a strong woman and she accepts all these calmly.

My grandad, he was a great man. He changed my dad`s life for good. When my dad was a young boy, he worked as a labor in a timber company until one day he got knocked down by the hook of a crane and received stitches on his head. And seeing this, my grandad took him as a child of his and ask him to quit his job. Who would take a stranger kid with uncertain background as a child when he himself had 5 kids of his own but he did. He was an angel and always is. My own grandad ( my father`s biological father) himself left my dad when he was a baby and we only get to meet him again when I was five years old already. It was him, my dear Nek Buah ( that`s what I`d been calling him) who brought my father up into such a fine young man, taught him so many things about life.

He and his wife are more a grandparents to both me and my sister compared to our real ones. They even took care of my older sister when she was born for months since my mum had a Caesarean section. He took us like their own grandchildren and loved us just like the rest. Never in my life I ever felt being left out in his family.

Only God knows how much I missed him now. One morning, I received a phone call from my dad , breaking me the news. I wanted to go back home that day, but I couldn`t get the ticket. I feel really bad that I can`t even attend his funeral. My dad told me he was doing fine the night before he passed away. He was joking about his sunglasses and all. And they were all relieved that he seemed ok that night since he had a fever few nights before that. Who would have thought that that night was the last night they could ever see him laugh.

I thank God for giving me the chance to have this wonderful man as my grandad. He was truly an angel to me and my family. No one could ever repay for what he had done for my dad and for us…and he will always be missed.

This is for you Nek Buah…

You came into my life sent from above
Better than a dream, such a perfect love
And I’ll adore you ’til the end of time
Angel of mine….

Im not a fashion rebel ( i think). And i seriously dont think that i am a fashion victim either….but getting the ‘stares’ from all the ‘minah-minah lawa’ really annoy me..most of the time. So I`ve been wondering if i really really should get myself a total or should i say, EXTREME MAKEOVER . Changing everything that i have in my closet, perhaps into something very girly2, pinky2 and cutey2 ..?And getting myself few pairs of high heels and pumps or wedges..?Hihiihihiih…sounds good to me…. So i did sort of “soal selidik” amongst my fellow guy friends, just want to know what they really think about my EXTREME MAKEOVER idea…and these are their responses….so far…

Wan : *gasp* *gasp**gasp* !!!Why would you want to do that?? *gasp*!

Halim : Bwahahahahaah!!!!Hahahahah!!!Hahahah! ( yes, he did laugh continuously like that)

Ben : ERr…no no no ! Amoi, jangan la. Pengsan ku nangga lak.

Leeroy : Pink? Tryla…aku bagi ko 2 weeks and we`ll see sama ada ko tahan ka sik jadi ayu2 macam ya. Hahahahah!!

Ok….doesnt look like a thumb up to me. So i guess its best if i just put the thought on hold at the moment, until i get a more convincing response. For those who really know me, please…let me know what you think…:)

When they know love hurts ..

why people look for love..

when they know love is tiring..

why people cant live without love..

even if they know that love is deadly

why people seek for love..

eventhough love gives you nothing in return..

Why people ask for love..

when love is just an au fait….

Why people worship love…

Even if love is your true enemy…..

Love isnt true….but it isnt fake either

Love isnt all about happy endings….

And love is just merely….just a passing thought of mine….

Kemarin
Kulihat awan membentuk wajahmu
Desau angin meniupkan namamu
Tubuhku terpaku

Semalam
Bulan sabit melengkungkan senyyummu
Tabur bintang serupa kilau auramu
Akupun sadari
ku segera berlari

Reff :
Cepat pulang
Cepat kembali
Jangan pergi lagi
Firasatku ingin kau
Tuk cepat pulang
Cepat kembali
Jangan pergi lagi

Akhirnya
Bagai sungai yang mendamba samudra
Kutau pasti kemana kan ku bermuara
Smoga ada waktu

Sayangku
Ku percaya alampun berbahasa
Ada makna dibalik semua pertanda

Firasat ini
Resah rindukah atau kah tanda bahaya
Aku tak peduli
Kuterus berlari

Reff :
Cepat pulang
Cepat kembali
Jangan pergi lagi
Firasatku ingin kau
Tuk cepat pulang
Cepat kembali
Jangan pergi lagi…

Dan lihatlah sayang
Hujan turun membasahi
Seolah tuk berairmata

Reff :
Cepat pulang
Cepat kembali
Jangan pergi lagi
Firasatku ingin kau
Tuk cepat pulang
Cepat kembali
Jangan pergi lagi
Firasatku ingin kau
Tuk cepat pulang
Pulang… wow.. huu..

Akupun sadari
Engkaulah firasat hati..

So….need help anyone???

When i was young, it was hard for me to cut a paper in straight line using scissors. i prefer to use a ruler instead ( eventhough the edges wud be jagged). And drawing straight line freehandedly was almost impossible for me ( now im getting much better …a little) . And i even used to eat using my left hand. But now, occasionally, when i forgot.

Im not sure about the rest of the lefties, but as for me im PROUD to be one. Not that i like being a weirdo ( who does?) but i take it as a ‘unique’ness of me.

FASCINATING LEFT HANDED FACTS

1. Most left handers draw figures facing to the right.

2 .There is a high tendency in twinsgor one to be left-handed.

3. Stuttering and dyslexia occur more often in left handers.( especially if they are forced to change their writing hand as a child , like King of England, George IV)

4. Left handers adjust more readily to seeing underwater.

5. Left-handers excel particularly in tennis, baseball,swimming and fencing.

6. Left handers reach puberty 4 to 5 months later than right-handers

7.4 to 5 designers of the Macintosh computer were left handed

8. 1 in 4 Apollo astronauts were left handed – 250%  more than normal level.

9. Left handers are generally intelligent, better looking, imaginative, and multi-talented than right handers.

P/s:- I do agree with fact no 9! Definitely true!!!

A little boy asked his mother “Why areyou crying？”                                                    “Because I’m a woman,” she told him.
“I don’t understand,” he said.
His mum just hugged him and said, “Andyou never will”
Later the little boy asked his father,
“Why does mother seem to cry for no reason?”
“A ll women cry for no reason,” was all his dad could say.
The little boy grew up and became a man,still wondering why women cry.
Finally he put in a call to God; andwhen God got on the phone, he asked,
“God, why do women cry so!
easily?” God said: “When I made thewoman she had to be special. I made her
shoulders strong enoughto carry the weight of the world; yet,gentle enough to give comfort”                                                                                                                                                      “I gave her an inner strength to endure childbirth and the rejection that many
times comes from her children”
“I gave her a hardness that allows her to keep going when everyone else gives up,and take care of her family through sickness and fatigue
without complaining “
“I gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all
circumstances , even when her child has hurt her very badly”
“I gave her strength to carry her husband through his faults and fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart”
“I gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly “
“And finally, I gave her a tear to shed.
This is hers elusively to use whenever it is needed.”
You see: The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure thatshe carries, or the way she combs her hair.”
“The beauty of a woman must be seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides.”
Every Woman is Beautiful